Tw: rape, abuse. I've been abused my entire life. Most of it has been mental/emotional, a fair bit of grooming. Some sexual stuff when I was young, too young to remember it. More once I hit 14ish. My entire family has always been abusive. I'm 20, school is one big trigger, but I also trigger and panic too hard to always look for a job. But I get in trouble every day NOT having one. No one I can go live with or anything either. Stuck. Am I just using my triggers/panic as excuses?
The only person who can really know if it’s an excuse or not is yourself. I get where you’re coming from though; i’m basically in the same situation. Maybe you could try breaking tasks into very small steps? Instead of looking at a huge, overarching goal, try to focus on what you need to do today or tomorrow. That is what I’ve been trying to do. Progress is slow, but it’s there.