Reason #31: Paranoia, or justified fear?
Two weeks ago before Spring Break, in my session with Mary, we talked about fear. What am I afraid of? I told Mary about how, when I am in my room or sleeping, the door has to be closed (and locked). This comes from the fact that many times, the only thing standing between myself and my sexually abusive brother was a doorway. Maybe it’s because I am afraid of what could be behind that...
Note to self: A statement of ideals
For a permanent link to this list, as well as a short bio about myself, please go to the about page. I will never stop writing this blog. I will never abandon this issue. Ever. I will write as honestly and openly about my sexual abuse/abuse as possible, because there are people out there who cannot or do not have the privilege to do so. I may change the names of people for their privacy and...
Reason #30: defined by my junk, part 2
I apologize for the lack of updates— I’ve been trying to give myself some distance/space from this topic. Therapy has brought up a lot of volatile emotional ground, and I wanted some time to recover. I also wanted to focus more on things that are not about sexual abuse. A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about how being fucked as a kid becomes one of the defining things of your life. ...
Reason #29: Stranger danger
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I am in my school’s Concert Choir. Like any other choir, we sometimes have trips or performances in other towns. Every Fall, we have a short, weekend retreat, and every Spring, we have a Spring Break Tour over several days. Maybe you can see where I am going with this. The big issue here is: where do we stay? Where do we sleep? Given that I am at...
Reason #28: Gender Queered Survivors
I wrote this essay for my Queer Theory class. It’s about an issue which people, especially those who are struggling for LGBTQ Rights, often ignore— the fact that a significant portion of homophobia is tied directly into sexual abuse and concepts of sexual abuse. This explains why, when a person comes out with the fact of their abuse by someone of the same sex, one of the very first...
"please try again.": On Privilege and Thin... →
chungyen: If you’re new to Women’s Studies or Feminism, you may not know what privilege is. In a nutshell: privilege is what I can do that someone else can’t. Privilege is what I can wear, speak, or do safely that other people cannot. For those of you interested: I’m discussing Privilege and what Privilege means on my other blog. Yes, I will eventually get to...
Reason #27: staying a child forever
In my post from a few days ago, I talked about how a bureaucratic rule meant that I had to change therapists again. So today I started seeing a new person— let’s call her Mary. I didn’t have as much trouble opening up as I did with Sheena— probably because I was ready and it wasn’t the first time I’d been in therapy for a year. So we covered a lot of things. ...