More Reasons You Shouldn't Fuck Kids

month

May 2013

3 posts

goddesskerrigan asked: I can't express how validating that Rebecca Stands post was. Thank you so much for writing it. I used to go on sites like that and do exactly the same thing. I never understood why I felt compelled to do it and I hated myself for doing it. I felt bad for lying to them, of all things. Seriously, thank you. You may have just helped me solve something that has bothered me since I was in like...

Reason #134: We make people uncomfortable

[trigger warning: sexual abuse, incest, doctors] A few months back, I had a checkup at my doctor’s. It was the first time since I’d started college over four years ago. As happens at a lot of large hospitals/HMOs, most of the work was done by med students and trainees, not the actual attending physician. I got a young doctor who looked and acted exactly like Dr. Coop (Peter...

Reason #133: Different types of evil

[content warning: suicide, abusive relationships, rape] I’ve put off writing this post for awhile because I’m ashamed of myself. If you follow my other tumblr blog, you probably know that I am single now. I have been since last December. You see, for the last two years, I have been in an abusive relationship. There are far too many things to talk about in one post, but quickly...

March 2013

1 post

Reason #132: year five

fromonesurvivortoanother: [serious trigger warning: sexual abuse, rape, incest, very graphic description] the morning after i was raped i slept in, like every morning until i became an afternoon. the sun shone tangerine, covering my tiny corpse-body, casting no shadow, bleaching my hands and toes and the dead corners between my legs into a single white. i still smelled like him— like...

February 2013

2 posts

Reason #131: Rebecca Stands

[tw: child sexual abuse, incest, pedophilia, internet predators— some graphic detail] You know how on “To Catch a Predator”, there’s always those people from those advocacy groups who go online and pose as teenagers or kids to lure unsuspecting pedophiles? I used to be one of those people. Except I wasn’t a part of any group. I did it because I liked it. As...

Reason #130: Love as a limited resource

I have a friend who is polyamorous. i don’t think it’s for me, but learning about it from her is fascinating. There are a few advantages to having multiple partners: No one person has to be “perfect” or fill each of your needs. What one person can’t do emotionally or sexually, someone else could. There’s less possessiveness and fewer jealousy issues. You can...

January 2013

2 posts

Reason #129: bitterness

[trigger warning: sexual abuse, violence, some graphic descriptions] i want to be the kind of poet whose photo falls in the celestial dictionary of poets beside the entry for “bitter”; not bitter like bukowski life-is-so-hard -and-i-am-laughing-at-you-fools-who-idolize -me-now bitter; not the bitterness that melted away when Sharon Olds finally heard her father utter, out of a...

Reason #128: nothing

[trigger warning: child sexual abuse, incest, graphic descriptions] my childhood is best described as a series of averted gazes looking away, into books and out windows or eyes closed, staring into nothing if i don’t see you, you can’t hurt me falling asleep as i touched myself the way you wanted me to, slowly my hands angled unnaturally away for you to make out every...

November 2012

12 posts

Reason #127: The Knife

[trigger warning: child sexual abuse, incest, sharp objects] back when i was still dating katie, there was this one day when i went to the boone square minimall in berea (a really big thrift store) and bought a pocket knife. when i was younger i always felt very nervous around knives, particularly if i helped my mom with cooking. but i was feeling kind of brave and i wanted something to protect...

Anonymous asked: Oh shut the fuck up about the perks of being a wallflower. It sheds light to the sexual abuse of a child and how confused a victim is when trusted members of their family do such acts. You obviously don't understand that the book is from the confused mind of a victim who doesn't fully understand what has happened to him and is still filled with love for his aunty. Charlie doesn't...

dansphalluspalace asked: Wait I haven't read Perks in forever; where is there sexual abuse?

poorlycopingqueer asked: I like perks- but I agree. It pisses me off how many nonabuse victims use it to act like they're misunderstood-finally understand.But I disagree that his reaction isn't a plausible. Though, I also see him only going back into the cycle of depression and sadness at the end. Not everyone does get angry. I don't see it as a happy ever after ending so much as I see it as a "No-...

Anonymous asked: About your post about Perks, I totally understand what you're saying. But it's a book where the character experienced sexual abuse, it's not a book about abuse.

Anonymous asked: sorry I'm on anon, I don't have tumblr but I still read your blog. I disagree with your post about Perks - I get why you feel the way you do and that's valid, especially the thing about ppl missing the point completely BUT I also like the fact that it deals with two things that are very hard: repressed memories and when the abuser is someone close to you and having conflicting...

Anonymous asked: What happened to the list?

Reason #126: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

[trigger warning: child sexual abuse] I really like the perks of being a wallflower but today I realized— a significant part of its success is because it is ugly, but not too ugly about child sexual abuse. like I understand that a large chunk of the csa storyline is rarely said directly, only implied, so that the reader can connect the dots at the big reveal at the end. but this literary...

Reason #125: Defining "Everything"

[general content warning: child sexual abuse] I’ve been in a slump for awhile. It’s hard to remember how much I have actually said on here, because I like to keep my life very private; in May, I quit school because I couldn’t focus on my work. At the end of September, I moved back home to live with my mom (who has been a lot more supportive and okay than I expected). ...

Anonymous asked: are you the same person that writes the other (the original site) blog? sorry, i'm a wee bit confused...

Anonymous asked: How come you haven't posted my submission? Sorry

Anonymous asked: Are you okay?

October 2012

7 posts

Anonymous asked: Tw: rape, abuse. I've been abused my entire life. Most of it has been mental/emotional, a fair bit of grooming. Some sexual stuff when I was young, too young to remember it. More once I hit 14ish. My entire family has always been abusive. I'm 20, school is one big trigger, but I also trigger and panic too hard to always look for a job. But I get in trouble every day NOT having one. No...

Anonymous asked: on the posts on wordpress, do you refer to yourself as 'butterfly'? are all of the posts on there your own? or can people submit them on the wordpress?

Reason #124: I don't want to be angry / What if...

[general content warning: child sexual abuse, talk about abusive relationships, domestic violence, school shootings] I know I have a lot of reasons— too many. I know that it’s justified and I have the right to feel that way if I want to. I just don’t want it. My anger is something I carry. It’s there and it isn’t. It only comes out when I really need it, when the...

becauseforoncethisisme asked: I read your prescriptionism post! I followed a blog that asked its followers to do that, but instead of saying "don't commit suicide" (because I was nowhere near close enough to give advice- I've been there, I wouldn't want strangers telling me what to do with my life), I'd glance at their blog, find something to compliment, and send them that message. Is that being...

Anonymous asked: I just want to thank you. You've helped me so much. I don't know how to thank you enough. I'm getting teary eyed just writing this. Thank you thank you thank you. <3

Anonymous asked: If you do not mind me asking, why are you using a wheelchair?

Reason #123: Love should be unconditional, within...

[general trigger warning: abuse, sexual abuse] Sometimes I am shocked at just how obvious and basic a lot of the ideas I write about on this blog are. Things like how every person has the right to their own body, or how not all abusers are of the same body type. Or stuff like how the definition of rape should not be limited to penetrative sexual acts only, because it erases a whole lot of people...

September 2012

3 posts

Anonymous asked: I didn't realize that there was a public traffic feed on your blog until I scrolled all the way down. I love this blog because your words help me heal so much. But the traffic thing really scares me. I feel like my cover has been blown or my secrets out or someone might find me. I don't know your reasons for putting it there, and I know you would never want to intentionally hurt people,...

Reason #122: Is memory optional?

[tw: child sexual abuse, child abuse, repressed memory, mention of suicide] Last year I read Naoki Urasawa’s Monster, a sprawling manga epic about people struggling to fix a dark past of massive, government sponsored child abuse and experimentation. I recently watched the anime adaptation for the first time. In Monster, there’s a scene where Nina returns to her childhood home. She...

Reason #121: People think sexual abuse renders...

[trigger warning: anti-gay rhetoric, pedophilia, ace erasure, incest, rape, sexual abuse, gender dysphoria] This is something I’ve been trying to understand, but after thinking about it, my general conclusion is: I just don’t get it. Maybe people need explanations for things that make them uncomfortable, so they string two things together, even if they aren’t related. Maybe...

August 2012

4 posts

Reason #120: Vampyros Lesbos: the triggers and...

[moderate trigger warning: child sexual abuse, rape, incest] I’ve mentioned before that when my brother was abusing me, he would show me porn and try to get me to masturbate in front of him. Sometimes it would be on the computer. Sometimes it would be whatever trashy movie was playing on a premium channel. This is one of those films. Vampyros Lesbos is one of the many sexploitation films...

Anonymous asked: I just recently had my reason 108 survivor moment. I'm overwhelmed with emotion and don't really know what to do. Do you have any advice?

Reason #119: There is no single victim or abuser...

[general trigger warning: sexual abuse, rape, discussion of abusers] Maybe this is obvious. Or maybe it isn’t, because I still find it difficult to believe myself: There is no single body type for abusers. There is no single body type for victims. I’ve been trying to reconcile the fact that my mother, who is a foot shorter than me and a twig thin 95 pounds, could be an abuser. I am...

Reason #118: Space is important

[trigger warning: discussion of abusers, abusive relationships, mentions of self harm and violence] If there”s one thing I’ve learned in the past year, it’s that survival is much more complicated than simply being alive. And being alive is more complicated than just existing. But this isn’t true of survival alone; abuse is also more complicated than just being....

July 2012

11 posts

Disciple by Mindy Nettifee

bangstheory: [moderate trigger warning: descriptions child sexual abuse, rape, self-harm, violence against children, religious abuse] The best advice I ever got about how to heal came from a beleaguered camp counselor who found herself suddenly surrounded by a flock of heaving sobbing twelve year old girls. It had been billed as a session on conflict resolution, an alternative to wood cookie...

Reason #117: Okay. Let's talk about prescriptivism

[moderate trigger warning: prescriptivism, possible ableism, sexual abuse, suicide] A couple of months ago a friend of mine (let’s call them Sky), who runs a relatively visible blog on their experience with sexual abuse, posted about how they were feeling suicidal. Shortly after this, Sky’s post was picked up by someone on tumblr and it was reblogged several dozen times. They ended up...

Anonymous asked: Based on the anon before me, how do you feel about Lolita? What is your understanding of its interpretation and the debate over Lo's precociousness? Do you believe it should be banned?

Anonymous asked: How do you feel about consensual role-play around themes such as Lolita?

Reason #116: Death is not easy

[trigger warning: child sexual abuse, murder, mention of suicide, food issues] What are you looking at? What are you waiting for? You make me sick— You damn hypocrites make me sick! Everybody knew she was in trouble, but we didn’t do anything. All you good people. You want to know who killed Laura? You did. We all did and pretty words aren’t gonna bring her back man, so save your prayers!...

Anonymous asked: I need to talk to you so badly about something that's been confusing me for a long time.

unhappyandme asked: Did you ever doubt you deserved credit for your strength? Like it's a common thing, being strong, and you shouldn't feel good about yourself for feeling strong in a situation that required it? I have felt that way alot.

Reason #115: Where does my strength come from?

[general trigger warning: child sexual abuse. nothing particularly heavy in this post] This is something I’ve been trying to figure out. Like it is honestly a puzzle. I don’t know why I am so “strong”, as other people like to say. Most days, I feel like I am a big blob of messes, and that the only way I survive is through sheer accident and a long run of good luck which I...

Reason #114: Sad Elle

[trigger warning: rape jokes, incest, child sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts, dissociative language, transmisogyny, anti trans woman slurs] The same day that I came out to tons of people on Facebook, I went to a party at a friend’s house. I struggled beforehand with the age-old survivor question: “do I want to be around people, or do I really just want to be left alone?” For the...

Reason #113: A double coming out

[general content on sexual abuse, trans identities] Three weeks ago, I realized that the person I’ve been has been dead— that I am no longer Chungyen, but Elle. At first it was so incredibly painful that for a few days, I was physically sick. This part of me that I’d always thought existed was just gone. I’d been pretending, maybe hoping, that it was still there. After...

“It’s okay to still be sad. You’re mourning the loss of a child. That’s horrible.”

– A friend of mine, after my survivor funeral (via fromonesurvivortoanother) Even a few words can mean a lot.

June 2012

12 posts

Reason #112: The Funeral

[trigger warning: child sexual abuse, incest] I. Change, when it comes, cracks everything open. —Dorothy Allison They warned us: the forest is a tinderbox. But I walk in anyway, intent on starting a fire. We climb, the mountain bending toward us, darting up in a path carved more for deer and rain than humans. Silas said we’d find sacred ground; the kind of place you want to fight for....

Reason #52: Afraid of words

morereasonsyoushouldntfuckkids: [general trigger warning: child sexual abuse] Tomorrow, I am leaving for a week to go to a writing retreat. It’s for five days at a nice little school in the middle of the woods. I am not worried about strangers; I know most of the people who will be there. What scares me is that I will have to write. I know that is a silly thing to say. Me, the English major....

Reason #111: What Jerry Sandusky tells us

[trigger warning: child sexual abuse, rape culture, victim blaming] Though Friday night’s verdict prompted cheers outside the courtroom, inside, the mother of Victim 6 did not claim victory. “Nobody wins. We’ve all lost,” she said before hugging her son. [CNN] I have a lot of feelings about this case. I don’t know how to properly articulate some of them. This case...

[trigger warning: violence against animals, child...

Anonymous asked morereasonsyoushouldntfuckkids: 2012-06-18 19:47 I was molested by a neighbor friend when I was four once and ever since, I’ll be very blunt and honest, I’m one twisted and fucked up person. I rarely feel any emotions and I get thrills out of seeing sick shit like murder and blood and I enjoy pain in others. Growing up i killed animals and bugs just because I...

a few messages of support

[general warning for child sexual abuse, pedophilia, incest] Anonymous asked morereasonsyoushouldntfuckkids: 2012-06-18 14:34 *hugs* It’s alright. It wasn’t your fault that you were exposed to that shit. I’m glad you were able to overcome the desire for it, and gather up the immense amount of courage it took to reveal that secret. ======== Anonymous asked...